My gain is my new threshold, tolerance and acceptance of pain. Pain is strong moderating factor in more than just physical performance. For I have no more physical pain due to the nerve assists and the calcium magnesium that I have been getting. In addition to bettering pushing my body to its limits or past them, therefore I am eliminating pain and discomfort. My feet no longer hurt because they are not week anymore. My mental and emotional pain has ceased to exist due to forgiveness, of self and others, and respect. There is no more sorrow in my life. I walk down my path, head held high and chest bowed.
Today my win is the Learning Improvement course and the clay demonstrations. Clay demonstrations are awesome and I love working with my hands. I see how important these demos are by understanding all purposes of them. They have a profound impact on me. I desire to work towards increasing my ability to communicate with clay demos. I find that today was a good day and if I hadn’t pushed myself above and beyond it would have been a bad day. I thought about blowing (leaving) but decided to stick it out with the help of the Narconon staff. I am looking forward to whatever tomorrow brings.
(Confronting alcohol) I am at the portion of my program where I am confronting things from my former life. I am getting a lot out of doing the confront process. I have never confronted alcohol without drinking it. I feel like I don’t want to drink alcohol anymore, after I went flat confronting it. I thought about all the times that I had woken up with a hangover and felt like crap and asked myself why I drank. I thought about all my friends who have gotten DUI”S (Driving under the Influence) or killed someone while they were drinking and driving. I also thought about how alcohol leads to other drugs and how it is so awful for your body physically and mentally. I don’t want to put anything in my body again that is flammable.
(Confronting heroin) I got a lot out of confronting heroin. I thought about all my friends that have died from heroin. I thought about all the people that wouldn’t be my friends anymore because of heroin. I thought about my family who was hurt by me doing heroin. I thought about the dirty places I ended up because of heroin. I thought about the way I felt when I was withdrawing from heroin and the bad things that I did to get heroin. I no longer want heroin to be a part of my life and I no longer want to be the person I was when I was hooked on heroin. Confronting heroin helped me realize I don’t even like the idea of doing heroin. That makes me feel so good.
I have gained a great deal of relief and stress off my shoulders by working through my conditions. I now know I have a plan of attack when I get home to continue to gain the success I am having now. It feels great to have these plans down in writing to see on a daily basis. I feel like a whole new person going home.
Every day is a success. The progress I have made since arriving almost three weeks ago to Narconon Arrowhead is astounding. My brain was a wreck when I got here. I could barely tie my own shoes, take a shower or eat food. Now I sit here working on my purification paperwork as I continue to sweat out drug residues and other toxins in the mornings. I wish everyone else here felt the same way I do about this program.