Mine is a story of girl meets boy, boy proposes, girl marries CRACK Addict.
I can’t say I didn’t have my suspicions before I said “I do”, but as with most, I guess I was in denial too. I just chalked up the erratic behavior to “He’s sewing his oats before he ties the knot”.
One week after we returned from our honeymoon, my husband left to help his Aunt move and didn’t come home until 4 am. Needless to say, the honeymoon was definitely over. That’s when he confessed it was drugs. At least now I had a reason why for all the weird things that were happening, although that didn’t make it any better. From that confession it just got worse. Here I was newly married and I couldn’t even bring myself to want to look at our wedding pictures. I felt so betrayed. Why did he marry me if he didn’t love me enough to stop doing drugs?
Everything Started to Go Downhill
Not only did he change into this uncaring, selfish, lying, angry person; I changed with him. I started lying to my friends to cover for “no shows”. I began to not care about myself and I got angry when friends or family would question me. I even began doing things I never thought I’d do. I called his job constantly, went with him to work to make sure he wouldn’t use drugs, and even drove around at night trying to find him. I really thought I could control or fix it. He was losing weight because of the drugs; I was losing weight because of the stress. He got worse.
The money was never there. We were so far in debt because I would use our credit cards for everyday items and depend on his paycheck to cover the purchase. He would take his check and buy cocaine. At first he would not come home on Friday’s (payday). Then after time he wouldn’t come home 2-3 days a week. The fear, mental anguish, embarrassment, pain and depression just kept coming. I finally confessed to my friends and family what was going on. I couldn’t do this alone anymore. They were a great support system.
I Separated From My Husband
With the support of friends and family, I separated from my husband. After only 6 months of marriage I told him that if he got help I would come home. He confessed his problem to his family, his boss and went into a 30-day out-patient treatment. He was 30 days clean. He graduated that program on a Wednesday and was high again 2 days later. I was devastated but thought at least he’s trying. Again we went into the madness cycle. I couldn’t trust him, he’d get mad because I questioned everything, again came the cycle of fights, tears, begging him to stop, and so on.
This cycle continued. My husband promising to stop, him breaking that promise, sleepless nights wondering if he’s coming home or is he dead because of a drug deal gone bad. I couldn’t get that picture out of my head. Finally, something happened that I never, even with him on drugs, thought would ever happen. I had major knee surgery on a Friday. He took good care of me on Saturday and Sunday. Monday he went to work and didn’t come home. I had no one. I couldn’t move, was sick due to the pain medication and had no ice left to keep the knee cold. I was alone and pretty much helpless. I couldn’t drive to even help myself (it was the right knee). Not only did he leave me alone on Monday, he did the same thing Wednesday too. Friday he promised he was going to an NA [Narcotics Anonymous] meeting. He didn’t come home. That night at 10pm I called my family. They had to take care of me until my knee healed because my husband couldn’t. I never thought he could leave me when I needed him most. I was devastated.
After that I left again. I didn’t feel safe (his drug dealer knew where we lived and my husband was never home) and couldn’t keep living with someone who was so undependable, who would lie to and steal from me. That was the hardest thing for me to do. I was so depressed, lost, confused, hurt and probably felt every emotion out there but happy. I was on the verge of divorce. I felt like I was at my wits end.
How My Husband Enrolled In Narconon Arrowhead
He called me one night in tears. He was on the verge of losing everything: me, his truck, his apartment and so on… He told me he was going to a program called Narconon Arrowhead. At first I was skeptical at this point I had no trust in him whatsoever. But I remembered his Aunt went through the Narconon program a few years back and it worked for her.
After about 15 years of fighting this horrible addiction, he reached out for help. He went to Narconon Arrowhead in Oklahoma and completed the program. I went to his graduation. He was a changed person. I could see it physically and sense it emotionally. He was happy, his eyes were brighter and he was calmer. He confronted his past transgressions against me. We talked and communicated like we never had. Narconon not only saved my husbands life, but my marriage as well. Narconon has given me my husband back. He’s been clean over a year and a half. He’s following through on what he says, the bills are being paid (by him), and promises are kept. This program has not only helped with his addiction but we both communicate better and confront any situation that comes up. We also use the same technology in our everyday life that we share “together”.
Thank you Narconon.